One of the most frustrating things about studying magick is being human. By being human I refer to the limitations or ties that we have to the mortal coil. We feel, and in feeling we are made brutally aware of our own weaknesses or areas where we have NO control. WE FEEL. We can control how we react to our feelings, we can work through the feelings and heal ourselves, we can walk the path and face our fears to become more purified and strong in our hearts. But we cannot STOP feeling.
Our hearts are the purest sources of magick that we have, yet they are the most misunderstood. Our blood carries truths to our minds and we get perceptions and understandings that are colored by how we feel. Our magickal patterns are taught to start in the Know, move to Dare, onto Will, and then to Silence. Yet, in my experience, once you've learned a tool (or a set of tools), the patterns reverse themselves and magick starts to come from the Silence, into the blood of Daring, that then moves the Will, to pick up the tools you've gained and use them. Then the knowledge gained from the magickal results flows back into you, and the pattern goes back the other direction.
Yes, magick is like the DaVinci's Cradle ride at an amusement park.. and if you're working on a magickal operation, instead of being rocked back and forth through the elemental energies you become cycled through them in a spiral fashion until the end and the beginning no longer matter and you're walking a path that is an endless spiralling whirlpool of energies that are woven into everything and everyone that you touch.
Only pain wakes me up to the reality that I am human, disconnected from the people around me, separated in Malkuth from the divine essences that flow through these amazingly beautiful creatures.
The crack of a painful experience sends me shooting back down into my frightfully small physical body and leaves me curled up inside like a little girl, weeping in lonliness.
Up the tree we go, driven by the connection we have the universal energies that draw us up to what "could be"... and then *whack* the Gods kiss us with power and love and drive us back down the tree into ourselves and into a reality that bound by having one heart, one head, and four elements into which we push our wildest dreams.
Who is writing all this?
- IxChel
- MA, United States
- Curious, over-loaded... I spend alot of time trying to be introspective, but I don't treat it with enough respect. So what I wind up with are flashes of insight that keep me from losing my way. As a Wiccan HPS I feel committed to a lifetime of learning & service to the Gods. As a wife and mother I feel I should be committed to an institution for rest and healing. I want to slow down, but I just keep finding new things that keep me moving at 111 MPH.