The path, being challenged, and Wicca

What is it that defines the path?

“The Path” as it is often referred to, is the way in which each person learns of their own spirituality and beliefs. It is said that faith is not faith if it remains unchallenged.

The interesting thing about walking the path, is that it is by definition, a challenge. It is a path that is not recognized or accepted by the common person. It is a path that occluded by mystery and shadows. It teaches it’s lessons through pain and fear, and overcoming both.

So why would anyone want to walk “the path” as we define it in Wicca?

Maybe it is that their curiosity exceeds what is fed to them through the “easy way” of monotheistic religions?

Maybe they just want to be different from all the rest?

Maybe they feel that living a life without some kind of personal challenge just is too shallow and empty for them?

Really the reasons are too numerous to list off and probably don’t need to be listed. In the end, each person comes to the path for their own reasons. But there is a paradox to this choice…..

They don’t really want to be challenged. Before you raise your voice and challenge that statement, allow me to offer up a few reasons for that statement.

Though Wicca is an alternative religion, few people who follow it actually see it as religion. They see it as belief. They believe, and therefore that’s really all they care about. But a religion is a belief system unto itself, whether you believe in it or not. Just as each person comes to Wicca seeking answers, they are also seeking refuge from judgement. They don’t yet realize that the judgement that they are running from is within themselves. They want to believe in something that empowers them to make everything right, but in the end that requires being challenged in their belief that some “other” is wrong.

There is no right and wrong in Wicca. That is the fascinating thing about this religion. We believe that you create your own reality, and if your reality contains judgement for being different then you’ve created that reality by validating their point of view.

The challenge of Wicca comes in facing the demons that have tricked you into believing that anyone other than yourself is right. And yet we each seek, endlessly, external validation through books, articles, movies, and music that our point of view is right and that the “other” is really wrong!

The pain and the fear that you feel is self-created because you believe in it. You believe that you are hurt by someone rejecting you, you believe that you are rejectable. You believe that what you fear is scary because you feel powerless in the face of whatever that thing represents.

In the end, Wicca is all about challenge. It’s about challenging yourself to move outside your comfort zones, to listen to the most opposing view point you can find and see if you can see yourself through that viewpoint without losing one ounce of love for yourself. It’s about challenging your heart and your spirit to expand beyond where they are today and embracing what they can become.

But I find more and more that the people who seek Wicca as a religion don’t really WANT to be endlessly challenged. They want to master some sub-set of what is out there and then relax into their own pool of “see? I’m right.” Remember, there is no right and wrong in Wicca. There are only consequences of our choices. And if you believe that your choices are right, then you have faced your challenges and risen to love yourself enough to overcome them.

However, you are not done. You must continue to seek out and accept challenges in your life. This is how you feed the engine of the universal energies. Laying back and accepting the pool of “rightness” is akin to dying. Perfection is death.

So as you go off on your journey to discover and label these shadows, as you fall into bed every night and assume that you just can’t do one more thing, as you curl up and accept the hellish world that you may find yourself in remember something: you created it. So if you want to get out of it, then you need to get up and go face the challenge that is blocking your way You need to accept responsibility for putting it there, or not working hard enough to prevent it from being there… and you need to start working to remove it.

If that removal means facing fears, then so be it. If it means letting go of “rightness” in exchange for the discomfort of unknowing, then so be it.

But never, ever accept that being Wiccan is about being unchallenged and being “right”.

Happiness is something that we create on our own. Ok, I get it. The next lesson that my little Gemini moon wants to learn is HOW? *smile* Of course everyone has an answer for that, and most of them boil down to me answering that question for myself. Anyone who has struggled with the charming qualities of Gemini energy (or any kind of mutable energies in their astrological chart) knows that it's tough to get focus.

Lately, with the mid-life bearing down on me, I've come to a conclusion that is freeing: I don't need to focus! Not in the way I thought I needed to anyway. As a magickal person, I have the added benefit and burden of knowing how to translate astrological energies. This gives me the freedom to review the challenges that are being laid before me, and to collaborate with the Gods as I grow. That means that to some degree, I can trust the Gods and their lessons and not need to know the entire plan. I can focus on now, and maybe this week... and let the rest of it just float around like soap bubbles. This freeing lesson is also terrifying.

We return to the mutable energy comment from above: Uranus (the Fool card) in Pisces (similar to the 8s, 9,s and 10s in Cups) tells us that there is much to be learned from initial exploration into the energies that Pisces rules. Pisces rules the unconscious/conscious, psychic energies, and intuition. The fool stumbling into Pisces with a powerful connection to the divine can get lost, like Alice in Wonderland. That is alot what mid-life crisis feels like to me. I want to get lost and never return, but when I am forced to return I handle responsibilities with a vengeance so that they don't intrude again in my Wonderland escapades. I am cranky at anyone or anything that seeks to intrude upon this space, and then I return to the mundane and logical world and see it with a whole new point of view.

The letting go part, the part where I realize I dont' need a plan, is from Saturn in Virgo cojoining my natal Uranus, Mars, Pluto conjunction. Pluto is the easiest one to take right now, because his aims are clear. He says to me "Baby, you are a beautiful creature, and no matter is going on around you, you must learn to trust that." So I get these freaky-wild intense experiences where I feel amazingly lovable, and they are contrasted against equally intense experiences where I feel like one of the Wyrd sisters from the Disney movie Hercules. "Why, you look like a fate worse than death!". *laugh*

The letting go lesson is an interesting one when it's punctuated by Saturn transiting my natal fourth house in Virgo. He is teaching me how freedom and responsibility are interwined in an unavoidable dance. He is teaching me how good it feels to have my finances in exacting order, so that I have the freedom to fix my house, my car, and other things without worry. I am free of worry --> Thank you Saturn in Virgo.

Letting go also means letting go of fear. Fear that I'm too old, or too young. Fear that I'm not thin enough, or too thin... not pretty enough, or too pretty to be taken seriously. Mars in Virgo cojoining Saturn is helping me with this. This energy, woven into mid-life crises mode, means I'm irritated with myself everyday that I don't exercise. And when I do exercise, I treat it like I'm supposed to be doing it.. not like it's an amazing accomplishment.

I chose the image of the Naked Pagan Happy Dance to remind me that this is all part of the journey.. part of the lessons... and in the end all that matters is being happy. And since I control whether or not I am happy, I am ultimately always free to dance.

Resting during the temple climb...

When we walk the path for a while, we start to feel like we're skinning over. The freshness of new ideas, new concepts, and new lessons goes dull and we find ourselves feeling cloudy-foggy in how we proceed and keep ourselves passionate about the craft.

Some elders tell us that no one keeps their passion hot all the time, and that ebb and flow are natural. Some will tell us that daily energy exercises help to keep the fires stoked: meditation, Resh Vel Helios, Qabalistic Cross..etc.

But even when you follow advice, there are still days when it feels like still you're standing in a train station for much longer than you expected to... days when "meditation by the lakeside" is the last thing you want to do because it's boring, and days when no matter what the tarot cards say, or the astrological wheel says you feel like you're dead in the water.

This is a time to rest. Though it may be tempting to throw one more spread, find one more guided meditation, or listen to one more song about the powers of nature and the Gods... let it go. Let it go because the boredom is a sign that you are over taxed. If you have done your regular energy exercises, exercised your body regularly, journalled, and done divination regularly and you're feeling bored and frustrated then let it go.

There is a regular stride to spiritual work. We get into a mode where we feel that our success is measured by our progress and vice versa. This is not healthy.

It is not healthy because the work that is done regularly must be given rest periods to sink in... to gestate, to work it's magick. Just as a seed rests in side the earth before it germinates, or like bread is left to rest as it rises.. magickal work must rest inside your body to be as potent as it can be.

So ... when the day seems grey, your magickal items seem hollow and lack lustre, and when throwing one more tarot spread seems like a waste of time --> take a break.

Sunrise, sunset - these small hours

Our world changes from moment to moment, yet often we do not notice until something dramatic changes - leaving us breathless and imbalanced. When you disconnect from the churn and pull of have-tos in day-to-day life, the rest of the world almost pounces on you in anticipation.

Gently this beautiful creature danced into my life, full of wisdom and curiosity. Lovingly she caressed my spirit with her soft, deep voice and her soulful eyes.
We whiled away the hours together laughing and listening to each other's stories. Sharing the moments that others often miss because of shallow distractions, we connected honestly but briefly.

How do you quantify the value of a heart? How do you gather up all of the magnificence of a human being into words? The simple answer is: you don't. You cry, and laugh, and keep silent about the most sacred things that they brought to you.

Sisters in spirit means that when you sit with someone for a few moments, you can hear their spirit speaking and you know in your bones that you've met someone who can hear yours. This precious gift brings great comfort in a world full of people who are spiritually deaf to your song, or worse: don't care to stop long enough to listen.

My sister crossed over to Summerland yesterday. She was done with this lifetime and moved on to her next one.

But for one brief, shining moment she graced me with her love, and for that I feel blessed beyond measure.

Can I take a breath?

I'm having one of those weeks\months when it all comes at me so damn fast that I can't breath. I realize that the events are not happening any faster than they normally do, and that it's the relationship between my own energy patterns and the energies of the universe that change my perspective and make things SEEM like they're moving faster.
However, being a magickal being doesn't prevent me from being affected by this type of experience. It's just coming too fast.
Energetically I look to Mercury, Mars, and Neptune when this type of transition happens. There are many metaphors or metaphysical structures for working through this type of thing, astrology and the tarot work for me so I use them.
Mercury rules thought and organization - order. So I look to Mercury's current position in relation to my natal Mercury and learn what affect that brings. I do the same thing for the other planets.
Now some may ask: Why Neptune? Because Neptune rules the dream life, rules the instinctual or emotional connection that we have with our world. When we don't take our time-outs, Neptune comes in and makes us space-out and take them anyway. So when the world is coming at me too fast, it's an indication that i haven't taken my time-outs so I'm missing details.
With Mercury in Capricorn in my 8th house, and Mars entering my 9th house I am feeling as though I need to ID ever old\outdated perception and thought paradigm that is no longer serving my goals -- yet Mars is sitting squarely in the "next step" of the plan and tapping his foot saying "C'mon honey, we've got lessons to learn, information to assimilate, new things to bring into the world that is YOU and put to good use!" Oy.
Can I take a breath please? These two male-centric energies push.. cajole.. cheer, lure... charm.. challenge.. and I'm left feeling like I've been having a great conversation or great sex for days straight and I dont' care HOW good it feels - i need a freaking break!!
Enter Neptune in Aquarius. He slowly flows toward my MidHeaven... and he teases me with that warm, inviting feeling of being able to change the world. Aquarian values... there is opportunity for everyone, there is an equal playing field.. let's revolutionize our minds and explore new ideas in making the world better.. shall we? Come on my magic carpet ride and I'll take you into a future where Wiccan Priests are men who exude confidence and love in all walks of life. I'll take you into a future where all religions are welcomed, and whether or not you're a member of a minority religion or not, no one really cares.. they just want you to uphold good - strong ideals. Let me show you a future where we ostracize the small minded- destructive people who want to cut and poke at people who are different - and we glorify and idolize people who nurture the creative and innovative within us all.
Sheeeesh... I'm excited and tired at the same time.
I think I'll go meditate on that.

When to honor the cross quarters..

Today is the day when Wiccans honor the Goddess Brighid, today is the traditional day for Imbolc. It's funny to use the word traditional with a religion that was born in the 1960's. Like the last 40 yrs of Wicca have accelerated our work such that anything can be referred to as a tradition? I'm not sure.

Something that has challenged me since the beginning of my studies has been the cross quarter Sabbats. We read in many books how they are honored on X day, yet when you research what makes them cross-quarters, it's the fact that they happen 45 days from a solstice or an equinox. Uhm... but the traditional days are not always 45 days from a solstice or an equinox.

So I started counting. And I noticed that more often the cross quarters happen near a lunar event that is +-4 days from the 45 day mark. Thus, my coven and I started honoring the cross quarters on those days. Why? Because it felt more real to me than to just honor a day because someone chose it? It's hard to provide a reason for doing something in Wicca that is any more solid than any other reason. Wicca is such a new religion that compared to other religions of the world, it feels a little silly to make bold statements like "this is the traditional way of doing things." Traditional? So in the past 40 yrs there haven't been a dozen or so authors and community leaders who haven't found faults with any number of our "traditions" and modified them to suit their needs?

45 days, February 2nd, the next lunar event... there is no more justification for any of one those times to honor Brighid than any other. I like to think that the Goddess weaves her visions from a loving and creative source, and as such isn't all that upset if it's one day or the next, just as long as it happens sometime when the community feels it should.

Common sense plays a role here as well: if you want to hold a large celebration, and most of your coven members work, then they either have to take the day off... or you have to schedule it on or near a weekend so that everyone can relax and enjoy the time spent in celebration of Brighid's fire.

The overall goal of this Sabbat is to honor Brighid, the rising of the God's fires (the sun's warmth), and to gather together in a celebration of light to soothe the pyschological damages of a long, dark winter. When those things are accomplished with a deep emotional commitment, the day upon which the ritual occurs becomes less of an issue.

When the moon rises, we straddle the veils

So many people move through time asleep. Asleep compared to what is available for them to be involved in, to feel, and to experience. There is an itch that tortures anyone who opens themselves up to these experiences, but in time that itch becomes a friendly push to keep them moving through rough experiences and on to pleasant ones. Long ago, men wrote only of the things that were accepted. They wrote of how the world was the way everyone wanted it to be, but this wasn't the solution. Perpetrating a fraud doesn't get you the real deal, it only wastes time and precious energy until the day when you realize that you can no longer lie.

Now I write of what is real, even if it isn't what everyone wants to believe is real.

As the moon rises, each person who has ever been initiated steps into a world that we call "between the veils". Between the veils means that we walk between what is and what isn't. Some say it's between the material world and the spiritual world, others say it's between the living world and the world of the dead... the general belief is that it's a place where space and time are suspended and we connect with our inner selves and create a world that we desire.

As the moon rises, the spirit within us that will not allow us to lie rises too. It pushes at our skin, at our frail facade to be revealed. We stumble and fall over words and reactions that are more truthful than we like to admit. The slip of the tongue that makes us wish we hadn't said that.. the few words that we mumble thinking no one hears, but they do.. the laugh that escapes our throats at some stupid lie that another spouts.. we can't help it, we are witches.

We are the ones who chose this path, the path of raw honesty. We chose a path that makes us honor who we are inside, and pulls us back to the space between the worlds every two weeks to remind us of who that person is. We are the ones who work magick, who honor the divine dance between the Gods and their precious loves: humans. But this is the secret: we often leave the path!

One would think, that after enduring countless hours in the space between the worlds, that the spirit would guide you back everytime: like it happens in fairy tales. The spirit does, but heart is stronger, and fear is stronger yet. Fear drives the blessed ones from their paths, it pulls and twists them into a shape that disgusts them and makes them want to hide from the moon. As they become more and more twisted, they run harder and faster, and in the end they cling to a mundane world in hopes that the cries of the spirit to return will ebb and fade away. They don't.

The path is what it is: the deepest love that you can feel for yourself. We doubt that love, we wonder if we'll be strong enough to forgive ourselves for the lies and the outright deceit that we've crafted. We tremble inside as the circle calls to us, and we each secretly wish that we had some preview of what lies ahead in the space between the veils. But we don't.

We must enter the space in perfect love and perfect trust because to enter any other way would be another lie. We must return to the sacred space with faith that we are the perfect creatures that the Gods believe us to be, and open heartedly feel the forgiveness flood our bodies as the energies rise around us in chant and song.

Exhale. Yeeeeessss.. you are perfect. You are the sacred, sensual, powerful burst of love that you feel rushing into your bones and untwisting your spirit. Freed from it's cage of fear, your spirit rises above you and flies free into the night sky, ecstatic. Your spirit is the truest form of you, and it flies free in this magickal space because you had the courage to walk in with your heart open and your will ready to be released.

Be the stars.
Be the beautiful moonlight as it kisses and caresses the earth through the shadows of night.
Be the sacred dance that tickles and touches your legs and arms as you disappear into ecstatic movement!
And in the end, return to your small but precious home within yourself and be held safely and securely within it's tender flesh.

Love and writing, or is it rockets?

Echoes of laughter and tears bounce off of the images that fade as the coffee cools in front of me. Deep felt emotions zing through me and fly off into the dark sky of a cold morning. Quiet.

There are those times, you know them, that come more and more often as you grow older... when you are more connected to the world around you in a moment than you feel you ever have been. In that moment you are part of the time and space right around you, like a tree or a bird you are no longer human and tangled up in the unneeded complexity of what should be, you just are.

In those moments it seems so normal to just be what you are and create whatever you want to create, doesn't it? In those moments I am a writer, and I write whatever the universe wants created in that moment. A beautiful stream of images and emotions floods my mind and heart and words appear, banging on the inside of my eyes and crying to get out. Yet as soon as they hit the page their life seems to fade like a shooting star. I often wonder what the Gods had in mind when they made me a writer. I feel as though everyday is wasted that I don't write.. and yet there are so many days that go by without writing.
The reverie is broken by something loud usually.. usually kids or dogs who don't see the magnificent bubble of magick that I think is so obviously floating around me. They probably see my state of being as normal and wonder why I think it's so special!

Either way, I am left deflated and cold in that moment. The soap bubble of zen unity with the cosmic consciousness is broken and I'm just a mother, a wife, a manager, and a priestess again.. no longer am I the incarnation of the Gods writing to keep up with their inspirational song.

Laying there on the floor, flattened like Flat Stanley, I quietly wonder to myself if all artists endure this kind of cold, shocking ejection into the mundane world? And do they feel just as pathetic and one-dimensional when it happens as I do?

That entire experience is why I can't imagine writing for a living even though I know it's what the Gods want of me. I can't imagine ever having writing bringing the mundane into my awareness, only other things. Writing is sacred to me, and as such should be free. I will learn to integrate the freedom with the creative cycle and grow a new perspective in the coming years, but I felt it important to log where I am now --> Kind of a " YOU ARE HERE" thing that allows me to take ownership of my fears and therefore use them to organically grow a new point of view.

Inspired by a friend's lessons from Brighid, I am honoring the darkness that a seed lives in for months before it germinates. We are in darkness now.. and I'm planting a seed.