The tickle...

There is this zone, inside of our combined energy bodies, that vibrates when we are aroused the right way. What is the right way? It is the way that combines our emotions, with our body, with our spirit in such a way that none of them is out of sync with the other. It is a state of arousal defined by the feeling of flying, the feeling of falling into a soft bed, and the feeling of rising slowly into a warm embrace all at the same time.

The tickle is the feeling that immediatly preceeds that state. And it is what pushes us onward through the frustration and clumsiness of foreplay. Do not mock my statements, insisting that your foreplay is graceful and perfectly timed. All foreplay is clumsy, it's just that we are so high on endorphins we don't care. It's not elbow-in-eyesocket clumsy.. no one is seriously hurt or damaged (hopefully). But there are ALWAYS timing issues, even subtle ones.

In studying tantra and sex magick I have found that the tickle is indicator that you are raising energy, and that is actually where you are training yourself to stay: in a perpetual state of arousal just before unreason takes over and the waves start to crash over you. Yes, we all kind of work to get the wave of arousal to rise and crest. The swell of the appetite, the rush of blood and energy through the body, the warmth that seems to melt all fear... these are all good and noble goals. Yet, they are only the baby steps that preceed greater and more powerful experiences. The tantrikas have worked for months and years to teach themselves to channel that energy through their chakras, to feed their entire selves with it before they release it.. they work to commune with a divine-trancelike state to allow the energy to work to not only satisfy their bodies, but their spirits as well. These orgasmic releases are thought to prolong life, to keep the body healthy.

When you feel real fear, you notice that your body releases chemicals into it that make your skin and muscles react the same way as when you are aroused. Yet for a different purpose. This fear reaction is why I believe that people love horror so much (that, and I've read the description about a hundred times in Cosmo).

But what of love? What of the desire for love to expand to melt into things and expand their limits by pushing from the inside out? What of it's ever tranformative nature that brings us through amazing transitions and allows us to catch a glimpse of an ever orgasmic universe that is constantly aroused and bursting forth new life? Even as it contracts and ends life... it breaths, like we breath.. pumping blood energy through all the patterns that make up life as we know it.

It releases in ecstacy and a perfect blonde little boy is born with sea blue eyes and pale skin.. and it contracts and accepts back into it's core an old woman with gray hair and wrinkling skin who finally feels the sweet release of death freeing her from the restraints of a worn out body.

Whether it's the smell of rain soaked pavement, patchouli that has soaked into clothes and faded, or the delicate scent of honeysuckle coming in through the windows of my bedroom.. I celebrate the ecstactic release of the universe into being.

I'm just working on letting the tickle teach me to release into death and contraction as easily.